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A Ray Of Hope

Mon Aug 17, 2015, 3:46 PM




 

Your thoughts

Are like golden coins

Shinning in water

 

Your warmth

Has touched my soul

 

A ray of hope

In a darken room

Full of hurt

 

Shows I am worth

More than a

Handful of dirt

 

You have lifted me

When I was down

When I was

 

Being pulled

Under with despair

 

You woke me up

And made me aware

To face a new day

 

Paint all the mirrors

From grey to white

Am smiling...am ok

 

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If you Read This

Journal Entry: Sun Aug 16, 2015, 2:42 PM
...Sunny Days Of Summer...Umm





Ok my friends

If you’re reading this

Then you’re the ones

That left the check-box

Un-checked

 

So I must ponder

What’s wrong?

At this time

With my art

 

I have been here

A long time

Am old as dirt

Younger than sand

 

During that span

Had ups and downs

As all must face

At one time or another

 

Trial and error

Learn by doing

Baptism by fire

Was my learning curve

 

Dark to light

Photos to thoughts

Many ways to weave

The many dreamscapes

 

Dream to dream

My vision has

Become more clear

As a rise upon the ladder

 

Until now

Current Greenwich Time

Am standing still

As time slips backwards

 

Have I gone blind?

Is my skills gone missing

Is the dreams become

Nothing but a mere blur

 

My head spins

My heart hurts

Tears rolling

To my feet

 

The climb to be

The best as one can get

Is not a lite task

Some have to work harder

 

Just last year

My dream flew upward

60 -- 90 golden stars

Shinning bright

 

Then me pop

Went to sleep

With the angels

Then the downward spiral

 

Writing my problems

Down in detail

On my favorite

Yellow ruled paper

 

I know the blue orb

Spins around and around

Time waits for no man wishes

 

Am not done yet

Its like am alone

Alone on an island

Just dreaming to survive

 

Only you

The real yours

You know who

You are

 

Thank you

Without you

I would be nothing

 

You have helped me

Be a better caddman




.
.
.
Zie u in droomtijd...:sleep:

Am sinking

Journal Entry: Mon Aug 10, 2015, 12:43 PM
aa



 

Disappointment unknown

How could it come to this?

 

Am sinking

In the mass sea

Of social conflict

 

A fly speak

Upon a wall

As the world

Spins on

 

Am not down

With the tally

Of interest

 

For no one sees

That am here

And that hurts

 

Standing still

All has become clear

Should I remain?

 

Or slip into

The darkness

And leave the light on?




Skin by MoonZaphire

DeviantArtist Questionnaire

Fri Aug 7, 2015, 12:52 PM






1. How long have you been on DeviantArt?
...I am an old timer and have for 13 years

2. What does your username mean?
...Caddman that’s me...:D
This name was giving to me some years ago
while working at a design firm as a cad tech. and a co-worker was

having an AutoCAD problem...went to her machine & fixed the

problem and she said...you’re the man...you are the Caddman

3. Describe yourself in three words.
...Caring
...funny
...warm

4. Are you left or right handed?
...I can use both

5. What was your first deviation?
... A painting done old school

6. What is your favorite type of art to create?
...dark and fantasy

7. If you could instantly master a different art style,
   What would it be?
...paint in Photoshop with no photomap added

8. What were you First favorite?
...it was so long ago...oh yes this lovely pic

Witchy Woman by IllustratedEye



9. What type of art do you tend to favorite most?
...Photos & Photomaps

10. Who is your all-time Deviant artist?
...i have a few here is my list ...:iconfantasio:..:iconaeternum-art:...:iconelenadudina:...:iconmartanael:...:iconprincess-of-shadows:...:iconalexandravbach:

11. If you could met anyone on DeviantArt in person,
     Who would it be?
...My good friend dear Lois ...:iconwingsofdragons:
+ :iconcatmoonad:...:icongreenfaery:...:iconmelgama:...:iconasclaire:

12. How has a fellow deviant impacted your life?
...that answer has to go to my friend Conz. ...:iconconzpiracy:
   He showed many so many tips and ideas in Photoshop.
   Thank you my friend...:)

13. What are your preferred tools to create art?
...Photoshop, AutoCAD, IrfanView, pen, pencil and my camera

14. What is the most inspirational place for you to create art?
...in my computer room...it has all my books, and other fun things

15. What is your favorite DeviantArt memory?
...I have two such memories
--> When I got a DD
--> When I became a Sr.

 


Wake up

Sat Jul 25, 2015, 2:39 PM




Wake up
My Precious Angel
No need for a Nervous Breakdown

Just Say The Same words
with a Stiff Upper Lip
For am getting closer
Within A Mile Of Home

Here I am All Of Me
who are you I ask
When Death Has No Name

Stop the pain
From the left
Grind...
One Last Breath

  • Listening to: heavy metal from my ipod
  • Reading: my words
  • Watching: myself
  • Playing: around
  • Eating: nothing but sound
  • Drinking: your tears

till the end of time

Sat Jun 27, 2015, 1:34 PM
the touch of your sweet embrace
I will keep close to me forever
never letting this vision go
till the stars refuse to shine
am yours forever more
till the end of time

  • Listening to: heavy metal from my ipod
  • Reading: my words
  • Watching: myself
  • Playing: around
  • Eating: nothing but sound
  • Drinking: your tears

My A B C's

Sat Jun 6, 2015, 12:49 PM


My A B C
list

what does it mean?

... A = ABET
... B= BLOOD
... C = CROW
... D= DESTINY
... F = FATE
... E = EVOLVE
... G = GUIDE
... H = HAVEN
... I = IMMINENT
... J = JOURNEY
... K = KNOWLEDGE
... L = LOVE
... M = MAGIC
... N = NINE
... O = OMEN
... P = PUZZLE
... Q = QUIET
... R = ROCK
... S = SEVEN
... T = TRUTH
... U = UNEXPECTED
... V = VEHEMENT
... W = WISDOM
... X = X-FILE
... Y = YEARNING
... Z = ZENITH

 


  • Listening to: heavy metal from my ipod
  • Reading: my words
  • Watching: myself
  • Playing: around
  • Eating: nothing but sound
  • Drinking: your tears

A, C,E ,F ,G ,H ,T ,V ,W, X.

Tue May 26, 2015, 4:58 PM
...Sunny Days Of Summer...Umm





were old as dirt
that don't clean showers
coffee a must in the mornings
say you look lovely in red & black...me 2
show me the silver
were both (6) 12 inch rulers tall
tell the roster at 4:20 to shut he's trap
beets ...is not a veggie...it taste like dirt
we walk to beat of own drummer of sounds
x-rays...anymore and we would have x-ray vision




















  • Listening to: heavy metal from my ipod
  • Reading: my words
  • Watching: myself
  • Playing: around
  • Eating: nothing but sound
  • Drinking: your tears

I wave my good byes

Sat May 2, 2015, 1:59 PM by caddman:iconcaddman:

 

 

 

 

Into the shadows

I wave my good byes

Forever to darkness

Soon will slip away

 

Rays of light

Dance through the night

Proves your run

Was right

 

Now I stand

Before the portal

Soon to fade

 

Until only a memory

To hold

For another day

 

Your time is short

For the writing

Is on the wall to read

 

You had a nice run

Had your moment

But know

 

It’s your time

To come to an end

So

 

It’s time to say

The words good bye

My old friend   shadowness.com/closing.php

 

 



  • Listening to: heavy metal from my ipod
  • Reading: my words
  • Watching: myself
  • Playing: around
  • Eating: nothing but sound
  • Drinking: your tears

My brother of words Has gone away

Journal Entry: Thu Mar 26, 2015, 4:30 PM


 


I read the e-note

Come by yesterday 03-25-2015

I am not able

To pen the words

To know what to say

My brother of words

Has gone away

Oh my friend

RonRay     :iconbark:

Is sleeping

With angles today

 

Now the darkness

Has become visible

As my face

Turns to stone

 

For I know

Am not alone

 

Some how

My world

Just got smaller




  • Listening to: heavy metal from my ipod
  • Reading: my words
  • Watching: myself
  • Playing: around
  • Eating: nothing but sound
  • Drinking: your tears

stand alone in my only song

Fri Feb 13, 2015, 4:50 PM


often i see the raven
from afar and wonder
does he know my name

will the wind blow
only to chill my bones
wires waving from the sound

then memories come foward
find myself once again
with the light my friend


...as i gaze upon the open portal
and wonder what the day will bring

stand alone in my only song
come with me to the unknown

Graphics & CSS by Adorael
  • Listening to: heavy metal from my ipod
  • Reading: my words
  • Watching: myself
  • Playing: around
  • Eating: nothing but sound
  • Drinking: your tears

good bye ... sweet lou

Fri Jan 2, 2015, 12:41 PM by caddman:iconcaddman:


  • Listening to: heavy metal from my ipod
  • Reading: my words
  • Watching: myself
  • Playing: around
  • Eating: nothing but sound
  • Drinking: your tears

Bored...so I lifted this....

Mon Dec 29, 2014, 3:35 PM by caddman:iconcaddman:
Bored...so I lifted this....from :iconoriginalkitten:

Birthday: Nov 21
Hair Color: Raven black going white
Righty or Lefty: both

------Personal stuff:
Past Time: creating art and listing to muisc
Your fears: tight places, clowns & dying
Goal: Be the that I can, have fun, be good at what I enjoy
Your thoughts first waking up: Oh crap shite is it that time ALREADY!
Your best physical feature: My eyes
Your bedtime: Usually around 10 pm
Your most missed memory: Believing in Santa

------Likes, Dislikes and so on:
Pepsi or Coke: coke
McDonalds or Burgerking:none of the above...make mine in-n-out all the time
Adidas or Nike: Nike

Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate
Cappuccino or coffee: strong coffee
Sing: Oh boy yes...much to everyones dismay
Take a shower everyday: Nope havent't had a shower for over a year. We have a bath 
Do you think you've been in love: Yep~till am
Want to go to college: been there done that
Believe in yourself: always
Get motion sickness: too right
Think youre attractive: sure
Think youre a health freak: I wish
Like Thunderstorms?: No freakin way!!!!!
Play an instrument: Used to play a blues harp

------ In the past Year:
Drank alcohol: yep sure did
Smoked: Yep...
Done a drug: only up in smoke @ 4:20
Eaten an entire box of Oreos: the equivalent
Eaten sushi: many times
Been on stage: Im always on stage DARLINGS...lmfao..nope
Been dumped: Yep...I was...for a younger me
Gone skating: never
Made homemade cookies: nope....cant bake to save my life
Gone skinny dipping: everytime i go to my hot tub @ nite

---------Ever:

Gotten beaten up: no
Shoplifted: @ 10 year young was caught with funny books down my paints
Changed who you were to fit in: Nope....no way!
How do you want to die: Quietly without any fuss
What country(s) would you most like to visit: mars

---------Other:
# of drugs taken illegally: Sure have...when I was a teen
# of people I could trust with my life: hmm about 7
# of CDs that I own: close to 2000
# of piercings: none
# of scars on my body: I have 3
# of things in my past that I regret: Too Too many things

  • Listening to: heavy metal from my ipod
  • Reading: my words
  • Watching: myself
  • Playing: around
  • Eating: nothing but sound
  • Drinking: your tears

A, C,E ,F ,G ,H ,T ,V ,W, X.

Sun Nov 16, 2014, 12:36 PM by caddman:iconcaddman:


were old as dirt
that don't clean showers
coffee a must in the mornings
say you look lovely in red & black...me 2
show me the silver
were both (6) 12 inch rulers tall
tell the roster at 4:20 to shut he's trap
beets ...is not a veggie...it taste like dirt
we walk to beat of own drummer of sounds
x-rays...anymore and we would have x-ray vision



  • Listening to: heavy metal from my ipod
  • Reading: my words
  • Watching: myself
  • Playing: around
  • Eating: nothing but sound
  • Drinking: your tears

..am back

Thu Oct 23, 2014, 4:46 PM by caddman:iconcaddman:

 

 ...am back

The last few days have been very surreal

Last week SIs and I ran all over town

To dot all the i's and cross all the T's

For pops funeral this past Saturday.

All went well as the sun was out and a clear day

Many cousins and family friends came

that I have not seen for many years

It was a sad day and a happy day also

 

Pop had a military funnel with two color guards

A Scottish bag piper playing in the back ground

A full bird army chapelyn said the last words

A hand full of dirt I said Farwell to pop for last time

 

I want share this poem that I penned on Wednesdays 10-15

Which was my Mums birthday...my Sister, niece and me?

Looking over the tombstone as to where Pops was to rest.

 

This covers the crazy week before the funeral
 

Missing keys

Where about unknown

In through the open window

To open up the front door

 

Dust and dirt

Are all about

Old mail from light years past

Find a green bag

And fill to toss away

Truck in the drive

Missing keys once again

Speed dials triple A

At last the white sled runs

 

But wait -- there’s is more

Missing keys

Strike again

Camper shell remains locked

 

All the rooms I the house

Become a war zone

Soon more people show up

To the dance within

Many hands filling countless bags

For the garbage man to toss

 

The days become a blur

Until the day of days

Are here at last

 

Soon a few ticks from noon

Poppa will be laid to rest

 

The family circles around

With the sounds of bagpipe

Flow in the wind

 

With a hand full of dirt

I toss below so I can let go

But Poppa you will be always

Be with me forever

I shall never forget

 

 

 



  • Listening to: heavy metal from my ipod
  • Reading: my words
  • Watching: myself
  • Playing: around
  • Eating: nothing but sound
  • Drinking: your tears

Long Trip Home

Sun Oct 12, 2014, 1:40 PM





 

Going to So Cal

 

For its time to put Pop

To rest in the lawn of green

He will then be in bed

With mum once again

Seeing my lovely Sister

Will be the high light of my trip

So much to do

No one tell you about this

Of all the steps it takes

To give our lov ones

Rest forever in peace

 

Next Saturday if am strong

I will view Pop for the last time

Before going into the ground

For the big sleep

I will be gone for the next two weeks

My family and friends

For that time I will not be plugged-in

 

Do not worry for I will be back

Until then I give you all a group :hug:

To all take care and keep your art

Passion dreams alive

 

Until next time see ya in dreamtime:sleep:

Skot ~ aka talking Crow, Caddman & the dream weaver...:heart:

 


 



  • Listening to: heavy metal from my ipod
  • Reading: my words
  • Watching: myself
  • Playing: around
  • Eating: nothing but sound
  • Drinking: your tears

About Something Besides Pain: Muisc

Thu Oct 2, 2014, 4:10 PM






I've been submitted by :iconbark: to do the 10 song shuffle challenge!

You can tell a lot about someone by the music they listen to.
Hit shuffle on your iPod/Phone/iTunes/media player and write down the first 10 songs. Then pass this on to 10 people

Here is my list...:)

--> Korn - Wake Up
--> Bob Dylan - Precious Angel
--> Nerf Herder - Nervous Breakdown
--> Hoobastank - Say The Same
--> AC/DC - Stiff Upper Lip
--> Flogging Molly - Within A Mile Of Home
--> Buckcherry - All Of Me
--> Danzig - When Death Has No Name
--> Alice In Chains - Grind
--> Creed - One Last Breath

wow i see a poem in this

Wake up
My Precious Angel
No need for a Nervous Breakdown

Just Say The Same words
with a Stiff Upper Lip
For am getting closer
Within A Mile Of Home

Here I am All Of Me
who are you I ask
When Death Has No Name

Stop the pain
From the left
Grind...
One Last Breath


I tag anyone who thinks this looks like fun, and my best bud :iconcorvidae65: (Man, I just gotta know!




  • Listening to: heavy metal from my ipod
  • Reading: my words
  • Watching: myself
  • Playing: around
  • Eating: nothing but sound
  • Drinking: your tears

today is a sad day

Journal Entry: Sun Sep 28, 2014, 6:33 PM
...Sunny Days Of Summer...Umm





today
is a sad day
for my father
has gone to sleep
with the angels

no more pain
only peace
will pop find
on this day

earily moring call
from my dear sister
and this is what
she did say

dad is gone
dad has gone away

the doctors all siad
that his heart just
gave up

all this news with
me being only days
away to fly to see pop

i hurt deep inside
i should have gave
him a phone call

i should have been
there for him in
his hour of need

so all my family of friends
i will not be here for awhile
but someday to return
as soon as my world
has been resoted to order



.
.
.
Zie u in droomtijd...:sleep:

  • Listening to: heavy metal from my ipod
  • Reading: my words
  • Watching: myself
  • Playing: around
  • Eating: nothing but sound
  • Drinking: your tears

this if for you christiane

Journal Entry: Mon Sep 1, 2014, 2:46 PM
...Sunny Days Of Summer...Umm



...
so in poem i will at some more...this if for you christiane

hide your head no more my dear
for the sun is coming to warm your face
rise and show us your inner beauty
that hides in the shadow

do not go away today
for i need you
to be part of me

for this moment
and until the sun
will never shine no more



.
.
.
Zie u in droomtijd...:sleep:

  • Listening to: heavy metal from my ipod
  • Reading: my words
  • Watching: myself
  • Playing: around
  • Eating: nothing but sound
  • Drinking: your tears

...be gone

Sat Aug 16, 2014, 11:35 AM




..

today is my the start of my vacation

and will be gone for a spell or two

but not to worry

i will be back and then

be looking forawrd of the new art

that my friends have made

untill then have fun

be creative and be safe

i lov u my family and friends

so gather around for a group :iconsomehugsplz:

so for next few nights perhap i will

see you in the stars overhead

while i slip into dreamtime...:sleep:

always here 4 u ...:)

with :heart: Skot



  • Listening to: heavy metal from my ipod
  • Reading: my words
  • Watching: myself
  • Playing: around
  • Eating: nothing but sound
  • Drinking: your tears